By: Rita Doctor

If babies did have a New Year’s List on what to improve, things to pursue and what nots, it would probably look something like this:

The Mission:  Find out who’s the real boss inside the house

The Game Plan:

Eat More.  Eat anything.

More food to take means more energy to muster.  Now that my teeth are showing up, my goal for the New Year is to have a wider range of food choices.  Even while at home, the sky’s the limit!  And the fare, Ladies and Gentlemen, includes our sofa, the remote, my building blocks toys, the table, my booger… oops!

Amuse Mom and Dad with my gibberish talk.

Adults are kind ‘a funny.  I speak gibberish and my Mom and Dad seem so into it.  They listen to me talk like I’m a big time mobster – when I can’t even understand a word I’m saying. 

Explore the World.

Our house is one big planet.  There are lots of places to explore and we leave no areas unturned.  We have the kitchen, the STAIRCASE and oh did I tell you about the toilet? 

Make Mom and Dad dead tired chasing me.  

My exercise regimen includes crawling, walking, running and falling.  Yes, it seems that I don’t ever get tired doing this cycle. And you know what, my folks they follow me around – way too much that it sometimes bugs me.  But then after a day of relentless chasing, I find them totally exhausted and snoozing at the sofa.  And I’m there watching them and wondering why they seem to be so kaput.

Make my parents freak out with my daredevil stunts.

Doing cool stuff in the house makes me giddy.  One time my Mom was in the study when I quietly crawled into the room. I saw a ladder and slowly climbed my way up. I almost reached the top when my foot slipped.  I saw Mom’s eyes get this BIG, lets out a big scream and leaps from one corner of the room  to catch me. Priceless! But I’m alright, perfectly fine here.  Honestly, I live for this action! 

Make everyone laugh like crazy at my antics.

You know how easy it is for a baby such as myself to fool adults? 

Okay, like my Dad does the peekaboo and I pretend to be surprised and do a little giggle (just so it wouldn’t you know, embarrass him).  And then he does the peekaboo again, this time I appear to be more surprised and laugh a teeny bit harder.  And then he does it again and again and again. The next thing you know everybody in the house is looking at me grinning from ear to ear while I pretend to be bursting in laughter. 

Whine more when they do not give in to what I want.

There are three categories when babies cry: 1. Soft cries.  These are faint restrained cries used to elicit sympathy; 2. Loud cries, on the other hand, are used to be heard and get what you want, like when you want milk or want to be carried or play; 3.  Adamant crying coupled with screaming just means you’re tired of sobbing and you really mean business this time.

Master all of these and you’re good to go.

Sleep Less. 

The day is young and we have a world to conquer!  But my eyes are drooping. No, we must stay awake at all costs.  Then my mom sneakily slides clean Andy Pandy’s under my cute little bum.  Ahh, nothing like wearing clean nappies before bedtime.  But alas.. We. Must. Stay… Zzzzzzzz (and immediately dozes off).